Tag Archive | religion

Mom’s House


Last night…. After work … I decided I should run over to Mom’s house to check on it…especially after the ice storm we had over the weekend.   My Brother went back to Chicago on the 30th of December and when he left….
He turned down the heat… shut the lights off and set the Alarm system….and closed the door behind him!

No one has been in it since then.

Mom passed away on the 13th of December.  I knew in my heart this would be her last CHRISTmas here with us, but really thought we would have her at least through it….. but life has a way of throwing us curves.   Needless to say the month of December…. Including  CHRISTmas and New Years …. Has really been a blur.  So much happened in that relatively short period of time and when I think back on them it seems like a lifetime ago.

On the way to Carthage…. I called my brother to let him know I was headed that way and if he got a call from the Alarm System….it would more than likely be a false alarm.    Alarm systems and me have a love/hate relationship.   I almost think they are more nerve racking having them than not having them.   I reaffirmed the code with him as well as the “magic word” to give to the person on the other end of the line of the call we may or may not receive….I then proceeded to my destination.
I stood outside the door of my Mothers house…. making sure I had the right key….. and then turned on the flashlight on my phone in order to have all my ducks in a row before opening that door.
Door open…. and the please enter code jumped to attention….. buttons pushed….. and now… that mechanical voice told me the Alarm system is now officially…. off!

After the alarm system was successfully deactivated…..and I had time to breathe…. I am not going to lie….

I cried.

I began walking through all of the rooms…. each one stirring up specific memories.    The first one was no welcome from Mom’s little dog that is now living at my house…. but the memory still flickered across my mind.
The next one…. turning the corner into the living room where I knew in my heart and in my head that I would not be seeing her curled up on her little love-seat with her coffee and blanket wrapped around her and QVC on the TV.

I Cried…. again!!!

I continued my journey through out the bedrooms…. kitchen….. and then down to the basement….checking for things that might have looked out of place.   Coming back up from the basement, I grabbed one of her cups she got from one of her many stays in the hospital and watered the few plants she had.   I checked the windows …. ran water through the faucets to make sure nothing had frozen….and to run the “stale” water out….. checked the timers…. and…..

I cried some more.

The house…….It was so quiet!    It felt cold.    It felt lonely.     It felt empty.
Although…..I have been in houses where no one was home or that were empty before… none of them were  …. MY Moms house!   Such an un-explainable thing….. and something I think I can honestly say I have ever really never experienced before.

I gathered a few things that I was going to take with me.   I Shut the lights off…. Locked the door …. sat the alarm…. then closed the door behind me. I left Moms house this time ….. feeling …. very unsatisfied with my “visit”.

On the way to work this morning…. I was talking to my oldest son about going over there last night.
I told him how strange it was walking in to that house for the first time… by myself…. without Mom… or my Brother… or my boys.    After awhile, we agreed that the house no longer will ever be the same …. NOW…. It’s just that…. A HOUSE.

The HOUSE ….. the same house that only a month ago was full of life….. is now just a shell of that life that once lived there    The life….. are now memories…. memories that are now kept deep inside our minds and our hearts.    The laughter that rang through the walls of that HOUSE….. are now something we will hear only with the inner ears of our hearts…. or on a recording of days gone by.   All of the past CHRISTmas memories…. Are now relived in the pictures we have on our phones, or in a picture album.   The good times… and the bad times…. will forever now be tucked away…. Inside us…..But never forgotten.

I then said…. It kinda reminds me of  when a person passes away when we go to the funeral home.  We go … only to visit the “shell” of the life that once lived there.   The memories….of that person…..are now kept deep inside our minds and our hearts.    The laughter that rang through the walls of THAT house….. are now something we will hear only with the inner ears of our hearts.   All of the past memories we had with that person…. Are now relived in the pictures we have on our phones…in a photo album or in our hearts.   The good times… and the bad times…. will forever be tucked away…inside us…. But never forgotten.

Houses…. things… can be replaced.   There is no life in them on their own.
People…. Family…..Friends….. Relationships…. are truly irreplaceable!

Life…. is a cycle.   Hard to truly understand until you have lived through those cycles of life!
Here today… gone tomorrow.
James 4:13 Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” 14 How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.

But…. gone for a Christian…. is not really gone.   It is a relocation!    Our bodies becomes older…. tired and weak….. year by year…. and eventually… we will all relocate ….. somewhere!
If you are a born again Christian and have made Jesus your Lord and Savior ….. then the Bible tells us we will relocate to Heaven and live forever with our Heavenly Father!

2 Corinthians 5
For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.
We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit.
So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. 10 For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.

My heart….. although still healing from the sudden loss of my Mom…. is comforted by the hope I read in my Bible.   My moms house will remain empty…. and as we sort through things…. will become more and more empty.   We will Remanence while we see…. touch … and feel our way through her things.  We will laugh….. We will cry…. holding on to those memories we may have even forgotten through out the years and making new ones as we do.
Someday…. new memories will be made in that house with a new family who will move in.  Maybe they will be a newly married couple…. maybe a couple who are starting their family with a newborn baby to coddle.    Maybe… a retired couple who will spend their last years in the comfort of all the unique nooks and cranny’s built into that cute little house.   No matter who moves in….. they will make their own memories….some good….. and some not so good.    No matter what kind or how many memories they make…. they will never replace our memories….. and that gives me hope in the cycle of life…. once again.

I love my Mom!
I miss my Mom!    But…. one thing is for certain…..I know where my Mom is….. and….I will see my Mom again…. in her new home…. Heaven!!!


All Things Work Together for Good….!!


All things work together for good…..

We have heard it time and time again…. so many times in fact that we might have lost its real value.   I see and hear people almost use it so much it just becomes a cliche’ …. or a feel good mechanism…Not that Scripture is a crutch like some claim…. but the Power… that is attached to such Scripture becomes watered down.

I …. am guilty of that as well….. until… Last night!!

As some of you might know… My Mom just passed away the 13th of December from a Heart Attack.  I knew in my heart that this would probably be our last CHRISTmas with her…. but …. I never thought of her leaving us BEFORE CHRISTmas Day.   She loved CHRISTmas and always wanted it to be special for as many friends and family we had left.
Needless to say…. THIS CHRISTmas was very different without her.

Last night…. I ran to the AT&T store … planning to deactivate her phone I had on my plan and also looking into an upgrade on my phone.
When I got there they told me they couldn’t do it there, but I just needed to call 611 and it would only take a few minutes.    After SEVERAL minutes talking to the sales people (kind of like a car salesman)  I finally wheeled and dealed myself into a new phone… and hopefully a better plan that wont break the bank….. Guess we will find out for certain when I get the phone bill.

I left with many mixed emotions.    Finality of another piece of my heart that connected my Mom and me…. even through a phone….was now disconnected.   Was excited on the other hand about the new phone I got…. but anxious …wondering if I did the right thing or not!    Kevin…. my salesman… reminded me on the way out the door to call 611 to deactivate my Moms phone so as I pulled into the parking lot of Neighborhood Market to get a few groceries before heading home…. I connected to…. Charlotte!

Charlotte…. the rep on the line with me from AT&T…. was very pleasant when she answered the phone with the usual “how can I assist you today”?
I told her my Mom had passed away about 2 weeks ago and that I needed to deactivate her phone from my account.  Of course she extended her deepest sympathies with the usual… “I can take care of that for you Ma’am” and proceeded to ask for all the verification information to make sure I was who I said I was.

When all was said and done…. with the assurance there was no disconnecting fees and it would be taken care of today…. she once again offered her condolences on the loss of my Mom…. when I said…. I really knew this was probably our last CHRISTmas with her…. but thought we we have her at least for this one…. and then…. I said… but I know where she is now and I WILL see her again.|

That is when she said… she had had many losses this year herself and she wished she could have that sureness of things going to be ok.    I then began witnessing to her…. over the phone!   Although the exact conversation is all jumbled in my head at this time…. mainly because I was in total Awe of what was taking place in the parking lot of the grocery store….It went something like….

Oh girl….. I dont know how anyone could make it with out My Jesus.    He is who has given me hope through this and so many other trials in my life.   By knowing Him…. and receiving Him as your Savior… you are guaranteed a life in Heaven.

She said…. she has never delved into that kind of thing before…. she said… well… I guess I believe what you are saying but it is foreign to me….religion and things.

I told her it wasnt a “religion” but a relationship with Jesus.    I asked her her name… and she told me it was Charlotte…. I said Charlotte… I want you to do me a favor…. tonight… when you are driving home… and your car is quiet…. I want you to remember this conversation…. with a Lady named Teresa.    I want you to talk to God.   Tell Him… you want to know if what this lady on the phone is real.   If YOU are real!    And if so…. show me.   Then.. I told her to watch over the next few weeks as God reveals Himself to her!!…. because …. HE WILL!!

I told her I wanted to hear how it came out… but she wasnt allowed to keep any information from phone calls and I told her to try to find me on Facebook.   But I told her… no matter if I ever hear how God showed her how much He loves her or not…. I will believe that someday…. I will see her face in Heaven.

She thanked me for my kindness and a renewed hope in her heart as we said our goodbyes and her…. “if I can assist you with anything else….” pleasantries.  I told her I would be praying for her… and I have…. several times since we hung up!

How awesome was that!!!   My trip through the Neighborhood Market was a blur.   I was flying about 5 feet off the ground… thanking God for allowing me to be His vessel for a soul who had been hurting and needed to hear about a God who loved her… a Jesus who died for her… and a Heavenly home to gain!

ALL things DO work together for good…..!!!

Romans 8:28 (AMP)

And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.

I’ll Choose Purple Every Time!

Lowes-Paint-Color[1]Are you prejudice?

Kind of an odd way to start out I know…. but it is a fair question considering what all is going on in our little world today.

Prejudice definition:  preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.

Blacks… Whites….
Gays…. Straight…..
Christians….. Muslims….
Democrat….. Republican….
Death….. Life…..
Broncos….. Chiefs…..
In….. out…..
Right….. Left…..
Up….. Down…..
Pink…… Purple…..

….. and that is just the tip of the iceberg of things we have “preconceived opinions” about.

I remember when my boys were babies and I would take them different places…. or even just show their latest pictures.   Depending on the group I was around… almost always determined the outcome of the conversation of which parent they looked like.    If the majority of friends or family had known their father the longest…. they “look just like his daddy”   ….. but…. on the other hand…. if they were mostly my family or friends I had known the longest…. well what do you know….. they thought they “look just like their mommy!”

Now HOW can one baby….. the exact same baby…. look just like their daddy and just like their mommy!?!?!?

Well…. lets blame it on that preconceived opinion thing!   The truth is, when we get right down to the bottom line of it…. each person was biased…. prejudiced…. so to speak in their opinion.   Their opinion wasn’t based on careful observation…. but in reality it had been swayed by their desire to tip the scale toward the one they were most loyal to….. or… the one that would also boost favor toward themselves.    I mean who wouldn’t want to brag to everyone that this beautiful baby boy got most …. if not all their good looks from “my” side of the family….. or “my” best friend?”

Some …. however did try to look past the preconceived opinions…. and really try to discern the features on actual “facts”.   Most times they would end up saying something to the effect of….. “well…. his hair color is the same as….. and I think he has your….. but he definitely has his dads…….    Truth was… they were a perfect mish-mash of both …. mommy and daddy…. making them then…. unique and special.

When it comes to choosing a color….. My favorite has always been purple for as long as I can remember!   I’m not sure what it is about purple that I like… other than it just gives me that happy feeling when I see it.  It brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart….and well….. it just makes me go…… awwwwweeeeeee….. !!   So…. with that said…. if there is ever a color option for me to choose… pretty much anytime my pick will lean to the various shades of purple if at all possible!   You could say … I am prejudice in my choice of color because I have had preconceived opinions that are already formed because of my personal feelings.

Deeper issues…. such as Political…. Race…… Religion…..can and have … been the basis of conflict which has caused division and discord among family, friends, colleagues…. and even nations!

How did we form some of these “preconceived opinions?”    Many were formed in us simply by being born into certain family’s.  For generations some ideals were accepted somewhere in our family tree and passed on to generation to generation and have formed some mighty deep and sturdy roots.   Most things passed down to us from our ancestors are totally irrelevant and harmless….. some however…. can be quite the contrary … making us indeed….. narrow minded… bigoted…. and yes…. Prejudiced .   Trying to remove those roots can be a major excavation project.    The process could be very costly… not only in a monetary way…. but it could cost jobs… friendships… social acceptance as well as family relationships.    Roots … as we well know… can go deep…..DEEP into the earth and spread in every direction touching many things as well as people.  Most times we would never know who or what could be affected…. until those roots are tampered with or begin to come to the surface.

Other opinions are formed….. or changed….. by the group of friends we begin to hang around with, as we grow into our own person.   If our generational roots have not grown as deep and strong … or if we have chosen to rebel and sever those roots… our opinions can take on the form of those people we surround ourselves with.   There again… not always a bad thing… depending on the subject matter it could actually be a better thing.  Even very controversial issues can take us on a new life journey, and as long as those opinions do not invade someone else’s opinions…. by sucking life out of their roots, we can all still live side by side and get along.   Many new opinions are formed simply because of selfish ambitions.   They have swayed our directional thinking so we can “fit in” with a person or group that will take us to bigger, better and higher places, without giving them any real thought, consideration, research or prayer time.

Many of these issues could be solved in this world if we would just stop and discern every issue we face in a totally unbiased manner …. unfortunately…. most of us already have those “preconceived opinions” tucked down so deep inside of us we probably don’t even recognize they are there.   When asked… are you prejudice???   ….. We automatically get on the defensive side and deny any such thing because that would mean we are narrow minded…. bigoted….mean spirited and just plain rude.  We try to come up with many reasons to defend ourselves….. to justify our reasoning’s and some could be justifiable while others…. well… they just wouldn’t hold water ….much like a bucket with holes in it!

Being prejudice TOWARDS things …. are one thing …. being prejudice AGAINST people is an entirely different story!
We are ALL important to God…. He said in His Word
….For God shows no partiality [undue favor or unfairness; with Him one man is not different from another]. Romans 2:11 (Amp)
and again …
Then Peter replied, “I see very clearly that God shows no favoritism.   Acts 10:34 (NLT)

God Never in His Word ever made reference to skin color as a basis of blessings… favoritism….entry to Heaven…. exclusion from Hell….
in fact V 35 of Acts continues by saying
In every nation he accepts those who fear him and do what is right.
In fact … one of the Greek definitions of the word “nation” in this verse is “RACE”
…. We could say… In every RACE he accepts those who fear Him and do what is right!!!
So many times through out the Word of God…..God said….. ALL….  and in case we are not sure the definition of the word … Websters definition .. copied and pasted is….

Simple Definition of all

  • : the whole, entire, total amount, quantity, or extent of

  • : every member or part of

  • the whole number or sum of

Like they say…. ALL means……there ain’t no more!!!

But then again…… Matthew 24:7-7 says talking about the signs of the end…..
Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world.  But all this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come.

That same word… Nation…. “Race”…. says Race will go to war against race….. one of the end time signs….that is most definitely coming to pass right before our eyes!!!
Even though the media continues to stir this pot….We do not have to be a participant!  We Can choose to Love!   Love like Jesus did…. color blind!
…..The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”   1 Samuel 16:7
It’s whats INSIDE that counts!

So…. if you have found yourself in a place where you might have to answer the question…. Are you Prejudice?…. with a yes….. Stop and ask yourself…. and God…. why do I have this issue?
Where and when were these preconceived ideas formed…. and then… Repent…. and ask God to continue to change your heart.   Ask Him to open your eyes to see past color… Race… Religion….He is big enough to do it….. the question I guess though….. but… Are YOU big enough to change it?

When we begin to Love like He Loves…we will see Revival break out in our lives… our church… our community…. and in our Country!   It starts with you…. it starts with ME!
Lets keep our prejudice ideas to the little things…. and remember….. ALWAYS choose PURPLE!!!

Grading on a Curve

aid1391226-728px-Curve-Grades-Step-1-Version-2[1]Do you remember when we were in school…. how absolutely relieved we were when we found out the teacher would be grading on the curve on some of our tests?    We were Especially glad on those hard ones or the ones we just didn’t study for!!  For some reason, those teachers would have pity on us and decide they would slip us a break …. and level the playing field by taking the highest achiever’s grade and using it as the “A” point …then….they would adjust everyone’s grade accordingly.  They lowered the standards so to speak so each of us would look better on paper.   Even though we didn’t take the time to study…. we still have a grade that would make our Parents proud…. instead of a big fat “F”… we now have a C…. or B … or sometimes even an A!!   On paper…. we look pretty good!

I was thinking about this while I was driving to work one morning.   I wasn’t quite sure why that particular thing crossed my mind since I haven’t been in school for a long…. long time…. and my youngest son has been out of High School for 3 years now….. but then of course…..the analogy came.   This is what I felt God was saying to me …..
….. many people think I am like that.   They think I am like those teachers in school….they think I am grading on a curve!!

Have you ever said…. or heard someone else say something like…..

“Well… Look at Joe over there….  he claims to be a Christian but did you hear him cussing out that Referee?   …….. At least I don’t do that!”
“I am a very good Christian woman…. I may have a drink once in awhile …. when I’m at home ….just to unwind a bit…… but at least I’m not like Sally over there who acts like she doesn’t and still sits on the front row of church!”
“Hey…. at least I go to church on most Sunday’s and not only on special Holidays like Mr. Whats-his-name over there!”

Ok… I know you have gotten the picture I am trying to paint.   I won’t keep going because there are so many more…. “at least I don’ts or do’s” …. floating around out there that we could go on for a long time.

Now… just think… if God was like one of those teachers that graded on a curve, and the only one we had to measure up to was the best scoring Christian we know…..we would all be looking pretty dog gone good.    If God would just level the playing field by lowering the standard and taking the best Christian “scorer” and using them as the “A” grade, it would make things so much easier for us.  How awesome would that be!!!  Now …..we wouldn’t even have to read, let alone study the Word.  We could “skip” church and do those fun things we want or even just sleep in on Sundays…… We would only have to Pray or Praise a fraction of the time and as long as we put forth a little effort … we could possibly be catapulted to the head of the class.   When we look at our Christian grade card now… instead of seeing that big fat “F” … we now are pleased to see an A or B!   See…. We’re not so bad after all!   God must be so proud of us!  Well done though good and faithful servant?!?!?!

Isn’t that what many of us think though?

THIS however…. is NOT what God does.   He has not lowered His standard so we can all have an easy “A”  in Christianity…..but He has raised the standard by telling us we are to strive to be like Jesus….. Not…. Joe…. Sally… or Mr. Whats-his-name!   Yet…. many of us are still “hoping”  He will have pity on us and use those “less than perfect” Christians to grade us on our walk when we get to Heaven.
My Bible says in 1st John 2:6   whoever says he lives in Christ [that is, whoever says he has accepted Him as God and Savior] ought [as a moral obligation] to walk and conduct himself just as He walked and conducted Himself.
God sat the standard with Jesus.   His walk …. His conduct…. is the standard in which we are graded on.   He … was perfect and blameless.   He… is the “A” point… and we are all going to have to do some work to pull our grades up as Christians.   Work… as in reading and studying Gods Word so we can know what Jesus did in order to become more like Him.   Work…. as in Praying to Him to get direction as well as our needs met.   Work… as in Praising Him for Who He is and for What He has done and is doing in our lives. Work…. as in developing a relationship with Him!

Jesus didn’t “fit in” to the way the world thought or did things.  He didn’t even fit in to the way the “religious” people thought or did things!   He stood out!   He was different.   He Loved those the world shunned.   He called evil…. evil!   He taught Truth!   He lived a life that was Holy!  He didn’t do what the world did or go where the world went.  He kept the Sabbath day.    He Prayed to His Heavenly Father.   He healed the sick.   He didn’t condemn the world… but brought Light and Hope!   He gave His life…. for US!!
He… is our Standard!

Now before we get down on ourselves and condemnation tries to sneak in…. God knows we could never meet such perfection while still in this world.   He doesn’t expect us to be perfect in and of ourselves…. but … through the blood of Jesus we have been given Mercy… and Grace.
Phillipians 3:12  Not that I have already obtained it [this goal of being Christlike] or have already been made perfect, but I actively press on so that I may take hold of that [perfection] for which Christ Jesus took hold of me and made me His own.
The problem is… many of us are taking advantage of Mercy and Grace and using it as a “get out of jail free” card so we can slide in on someone else’s work!  But that simply isn’t Biblical.

We all will stand independently before God someday and give an account of what we did or did not do.

The Bible says in 2nd Corinthians 5:10
For we [believers will be called to account and] must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be repaid for what has been done in the body, whether good or bad [that is, each will be held responsible for his actions, purposes, goals, motives—the use or misuse of his time, opportunities and abilities].

We won’t be able to throw around the names of others to justify our actions ….. It will only be you …. and God!   You will be “graded” on your performance alone.   I am sure He will show you and me what we did… or didn’t do …. good or bad…. right… or wrong.   There no doubt will be tears!   Tears of missed opportunities…. and also of out right rebellion to His Word.   Then, I believe Jesus will step in on our behalf  to remind God of the Blood He shed for this very moment…. to cover those sins and to make us pure in Gods eyes…. and that… is when He wipes away every tear!
Revelation 21:4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be death; there will no longer be sorrow and anguish, or crying, or pain; for the former order of things has passed away.”

but….. there is one more Scripture that NO one wants to ever hear…..

Matthew 7:21-23
 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to Me on that day [when I judge them], ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, and driven out demons in Your name, and done many miracles in Your name?’   And then I will declare to them publicly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me [you are banished from My presence], you who act wickedly [disregarding My commands].’

Those are words I wish never to hear!!!  I believe God is sounding many wake up calls for us to get our priorities in line…..to make the necessary adjustments in our lives and to always be prepared for what is in front of us.   Always ready.  The time is short.  Shorter today than yesterday!  Don’t assume you will pass!   Don’t take your salvation for granted!   Don’t compare your walk with the person next to you! Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today!   Jesus IS coming….. and He not only wants you to be in Heaven with Him… but He wants you to be a vessel to bring others with you to Heaven.   Follow His Standard…. !

and on that judgement day……. our diploma will read …..‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’ Matthew 25:23



















Grace… yep… that is what we call the free and unmerited favor of God.   Grace keeps us from getting what we deserve but….that is

S……. Is For Sorrows Lesson 6


S….. The last lesson of the TEARS Series.
So… what are some Tear inducing words that start with S.

Sadness……. Secrets…….Separation………. Shame……. Sickness……… Sin……… Sorrow……. Songs……… Sunshine……Stress…… Sacrifices …..

This one seemed to be hard for me to get the “right” one.   I “Struggled” through this one until the week before I was to teach it.   God kept bringing the word “Sorrow” to me and I couldn’t
figure out what would make it different from the others I taught on ….. and then …. it hit me!!!!

When we add an “S” to the end of a word…. that word then becomes plural…. meaning there now are  multiples involved.   Not only does the word Sorrow include……
Trials…. Endings….. Adultery…..Remember…..but everything not covered there as well….

The Dictionary defines Sorrow as:
To feel deep sadness or mental pain.  Deep sadness especially for the loss of someone…. or something loved.

The KJV Dictionary Defines Sorrow:
The uneasiness or pain of mind which is produced by the loss of any good. or of frustrated hopes of good, or expected loss of happiness; to grieve; to be sad.

Related words:
Agony, Distress, Pain, Suffering, Torment, Blues, Dejection, Depression, Desolateness, Despair, Despondence, Distress, Doldrums, Downheartedness, Dreariness, Gloominess, Heartsickness, Joylessness, Melancholy, Miserableness, Misery, Mopes, Oppression, unhappiness, Woefulness, Guilt, Regret, Remorse, Self-reproach, Shame, Self-pity.

For the last 5 lessons, I have given you many things that have caused tears to flow in my life….. but many of you have gone through so many things I can not even imagine how you have withstood them….!   Only through the strength of Holy Spirit…. have kept the Faith and kept on keeping on!

I began to think of my friend …. who has suffered 3 plus years with Lyme Disease.   I have seen her struggle with deep pain that attacks her body and her strength ….. mentally and physically…. and has changed her way of life in many ways.   When things get hard to bare… I have seen her somehow pull that strength out from deep within and she makes it… another day… to fight.

Then I was reminded of A Mother in our class who has faithfully taken care of her sweet daughter that has been in a wheelchair for many years.  I have seen tears and struggles through the smiles they show when they are at church only when you look deep into her eyes.   She is a master at hiding the fear…. the exhaustion…. the sadness she holds within.   God has continued to strengthen her but the sorrows…. are real and the tears…. oh I’m sure there have been many behind closed doors of her home.

I also thought of another woman who herself has been in a wheelchair from I believe MS.   I have no idea how many years she has been confined to that chair, yet you can count on her showing up to church on Sundays…. and Wednesday night services as well.   I know her heart has longed to rise up and leave that chair sitting on the curb…. and yet… she continues to push through her restrictions…. her…. sorrows…. and greets each one of us with a beautiful smile!   Proof…. of her Love for our Savior ….. shines in her eyes… and through her life!

As I walk around the room I see other women in my class who have gone through so many sorrows I have not been through.   Women who have been taken care of by a mother…. and now… are taking care of her mother.   Tenderly and patiently walking near her as she walks with a walker from place to place!
One…. Has just been through surgery on her leg and is Cancer Free.
Another who has had job layoffs…. rehiring…. layoffs….
Family and Children who have had drug addictions…..
One who lost a husband and moved several states away…. trusting …. that God had told her to move to Missouri… without having family to meet here.

And still…. though so many sorrows were listed in our little class room…. there are oh …. so many more that are facing much greater sorrows….. sorrows that I can not even wrap my head around!
Every time we turn on the TV….Read in a paper or on Facebook…. we hear more and more of…
Shootings…. like the Dallas Police Shootings.
Selfishness…. People taking the life of loved ones to get back at someone.
Slander….. Oh… the Political race at its finest.
Scared……..People don’t feel safe

The Bible says in Psalm 34:17-19

When the righteous cry [for help], the Lord hears
And rescues them from all their distress and troubles.
The Lord is near to the heartbroken
And He saves those who are crushed in spirit (contrite in heart, truly sorry for their sin).
Many hardships and perplexing circumstances confront the righteous,
But the Lord rescues him from them all.

I thought about that Scripture…. and the verse that says…. “The Lord is near to the heartbroken”…… How near is He really?   Sometimes we feel as though He is a million miles away and He doesn’t see our sorrows… and if He does… He must not even care!    But God reminded me of our Scripture we have based this study on….
Psalm 56:8   You keep track of all my sorrows.
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.

Now … let me ask you…. What happens to a tear when it falls off of your cheek?    It falls to the ground…. or on your clothes…. and then it is absorbed.  If it is absorbed…. it can’t be retrieved…. if it can’t be retrieved…. it can’t be kept in a bottle.    Right?   So…. according to the Scripture… if God collects ALL my tears in His bottle… He is going to have to be close enough to catch those tears before they fall of my cheek.   THAT is pretty close….. pretty “near to the heartbroken”…. wouldn’t you agree?

Psalm 30:5
….weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning!

2nd Corinthians 4:17
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long.

At the end of each class I poured a corresponding color of sand into a tall bottle to represent the tears kept in a bottle…
T…. was for  Trials… and Teal was the color of sand.
E…. was for Endings…. and Evergreen was the color of the sand.
A….. was for Adultery… and Amethyst…. the sand.
R….. was for Remember…. and Raspberry sand was what I choose.
S….. was for Sorrow…. and Silver was the last color of sand.

The Bottle was beautiful!
I believe…. That I have Many Tear bottles in heaven!   I believe… they will be even more beautiful than this one… and in my mansion that God
has prepared for me…. these Tears…. in Gods bottle…. will be a beautiful decoration on my mantle!

One last surprise God gave me for this class…. a Poem.   I …. am not a Poet…. I have tried time and time again to write poems and they never turn out….. but when God is in it… it just happens..


  Whenever life gets hard
and your tears begin to flow,
Your Father God in Heaven
Can See your every woe.

Not only does He see them,
no matter how things look,
each Tear He catches in a bottle
and records them in His book.

For every trial you’re facing
though the battle is so real,
This test will soon be over
and your tears will turn to Teal.

In life we have beginnings
and endings that are mean.
But every tear we’ve shed for them
are now for Ever-Green.

Your heart in part was broken,
Adultery… the catalyst,
But as a Princess of The King
Royal tears are shades of Amethyst.

Memories, sweet memories
They make our hearts so merry.
Good and bad, the tears you see
are now a bright Raspberry!

Sorrows seem to multiply
They set our hearts to quiver.
But when our God has touched those tears,
They’ll  Shine like Precious Silver.

R…..Is For Remember…….. Lesson 5


R…. What words could possibly make us tear up that start with the Letter R?

Rejection…… Rumors….. Ripping…… Rain……Rebuke…. Rebellion…..Remember…..Remission….. Repentance….. Restoration…… Rainbow….. Reconciliation….

Remember…… AKA….. Memories….

I was sitting outside a few weeks ago watching my Grandaughter….Payton… run around the yard with her little butterfly net…. catching Lightening Bugs.  She was having so much fun!
I would cheer her on as well as point her in the direction of the next flashing light that would be on for such a brief second…. and off again.   Hurry…. and wait!
My eyes began to be directed toward the landscape across my front yard and into the neighbors across the street when I saw it….. Ohhhhhh how I cried!    Look how beautiful all of those flashing yellow lights were as they lit up my yard!   I began to thank God for the beauty…. for His awesome plan for a little bug with a light attached to its back side… to bring peace… to a dark still summer evening…. like a huge Christmas Tree that twinkles on a winters night…..!  He doesn’t miss one single little detail in His Glorious painting of our world here on Earth!

We began to venture now into the backyard, since her very presence and wild movement from here to there had thinned out the population of the blinking little bugs.  The back yard was a much … much larger hunting ground which meant she ran more…. and I sauntered.    I walked over to a tree that was there and began to reminiscing the day we planted that tree!   Colin…. my youngest was about 3-4 months old and the tree… well… stretched out beside it… they were nearly the same length.
Colin had a nickname of Grunt… (because as a new born he “grunted” as he lay in his bassinet) so…. the tree officially became known as “the Grunt Tree”!    Now…. Colin is 21 and that tree…. well… it is HUGE…. and … Beautiful!

More Tears…..

Life seemed so good then!   I had a husband…. a new healthy baby…..Justin… my oldest was a happy 12 year old.   I had a nice home to live in… and even though my Dad had Cancer….I still had both ….my Mom and my Dad.   Oh…. the “good old days”!

.As I continued to sauntered …. I found myself reflecting on years past…. This very yard had hosted MANY summer memories of not only Lightening Bug catching… but neighborhood Chicago Softball games… Slip-N-Slide…..Rope swing…. Bike Ramps….scrapes and bruises.   Clothes hanging on the line to dry in the hot summer air…. Sun tea brewing on the sidewalk… and sitting in the yard swing…slowly rocking ….back ….and forth watching everything…. and nothing at all!

I looked up…. and there… there in the western sky is that moon!  That same exact moon … and that same exact planet that I have looked at for the past 26 years from nearly the same exact spot I would stand…. gazing at the wonder of how big the sky really is…. and how truly magnificent my God is!!   So much in my life has changed since I first noticed that moon and planet formation in my backyard….. and yet…. THEY never changed!   Still…. firmly positioned in the very place God set them in so many years ago!

Once again…. I felt more Tears slip down my cheek !

After Payton went home with her dad.. I thought if was necessary to record the Lightening Bug experience as my status on my Facebook page.
My Step Daughter Sarah….who was the same age as my son Justin … chimed in!   She remembered those days in that very same yard…. chasing Lightening Bugs… and longed for the simple life we all took for granted at the time.  Times …that went by way too quickly!

One of my cousins commented on the post by reminding me of us doing the same thing when we were kids.    We would get together… have BBQ’s…. Homemade Ice Cream…and then us kids… would catch Lightening Bugs and play night tag while our parents would sit at the table playing Pitch… Pinochle or Canasta!
Not of course a whole new set of memories begin to make their way through my mind and my heart of all the wonderful people in my life that are now …. gone.
My Dad…. all of my Grandparents…. Aunts… Uncles…. Cousins….. Friends!   So many memories… laughter… heartaches…. flood my mind to once again start the Tears to flow!

Memories can be good… .they can bring Tears of sadness as well as joy.
Memories are supposed to be a place to visit…. not to live in!   If we try to live in our memories, we will miss our here and now and then years from now…. the memories we would have made will have been non existent… or… they will be full of sadness, anger and regret.

Can we learn from our memories?
Look at Peter….

Luke 22:60-61
Immediately, while he was still speaking, a rooster crowed.  The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, …..
Lets back up….to the reference that set up the memory.

Luke 22: 31-34 Amp  

31 “Simon, Simon (Peter), listen! Satan has demanded permission to sift[all of] you like grain; 32 but I have prayed [especially] for you [Peter],that your faith [and confidence in Me] may not fail; and you, once you have turned back again [to Me], strengthen and support your brothers[in the faith].” 33 And Peter said to Him, “Lord, I am ready to go with You both to prison and to death!” 34 Jesus said, “I say to you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will [utterly] deny three times that you know Me.”

Peter was so bold in declaring that Jesus didn’t have anything to worry about with him, because his faith… his belief in Him was so strong …. so firm…. that he was ready to go with Him to prison and to death!   ….. and yet…. when Jesus was arrested… and put in “prison”…. on trial…. and the chants in the crowd were to put Him to “death”… his flesh got the better of him and he did exactly what Jesus told him he would do!   Not once…. Not twice…. but 3 times Peter denied he ever even knew Him… and instantly…. when the rooster crowed….Jesus turned and looked at him…. which triggered the memory of that very moment … just a few short verses earlier.

The next verse….. Luke 22:62 is the verse I want to focus more on …. it says…. 62 And he went out and wept bitterly [deeply grieved and distressed].     
Peter… was so repentant that he went out and wept bitterly!!!    It hurt him deeply that he had betrayed Jesus…. by doing something that was totally opposite of what he had told Jesus He would do!  The reality of the situation he found himself in made him give way to the flesh.   The memory of that evening…. brought change from that moment forward and we know from the Word what  Peter did to further the Gospel and to do exactly what Jesus said….to strengthen and support your brothers[in the faith].

Judas on the other hand…. had a much different outcome.

I started to read his account in Matthew 27 but decided to back up a few verses to get a running start at this passage starting with Matthew 26 verse 6….    Now when Jesus was [back] in Bethany, at the home of  Simon the leper, a woman came to Him with an alabaster vial of very expensive perfume and she poured it on Jesus’ head as He reclined at the table. But when the disciples saw it they were indignant and angry, saying, “Why all this waste [of money]? For this perfume might have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” 10 But Jesus, aware [of the malice] of this [remark], said to them, “Why are you bothering the woman? She has done a good thing to Me. 11 For you always have the poor with you; but you will not always have Me. 12 When she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial. 13 I assure you and most solemnly say to you, wherever this gospel [of salvation] is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told in memory of her [for her act of love and devotion].”

Now look at the very next 2 verses….. 14 Then one of the twelve [disciples], who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests 15 and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand Jesus over to you?” And they weighed out thirty pieces of silver. 16 And from that moment Judas began looking for an opportune time to betray Jesus.

Could that have been the “last straw” for Judas…. who happened to be the keeper of the money bag?  Could he have been caught up in a greedy flesh moment that he went to the chief priests to get back at Jesus for being so wasteful… or… by keeping him from an opportunity to line his own pockets with a good deal of coins?

Judas’ betrayal was intentional…. and although I can’t see the word “Remember”  in the verses about him…. I am sure when he Realized what they were actually going to do to Jesus … to crucify Him… His memory of words spoken…  deeds He did for others…. kindness shown to him… like washing his feet during the last supper…. or…. was he remembering the words Jesus said at the very moment Jesus confronted him about his intended betrayal in verse 24!
Matthew 26: 20-21 20 When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve disciples. 21 And as they were eating, He said, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you that one of you will betray Me.” 22 Being deeply grieved and extremely distressed, each one of them began to say to Him, “Surely not I, Lord?” 23 Jesus answered, “He who has dipped his hand in the bowl with Me [as a pretense of friendship] will betray Me.24 The Son of Man is to go [to the cross], just as it is written [in Scripture] of Him; but woe (judgment is coming) to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had never been born. 25 And Judas, the betrayer, said, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” Jesus said to him, “You have said it yourself.”

The Amplified Bible describes his “remorse” in Matthew 27:3 like this….

When Judas, His betrayer, saw that [Jesus] was condemned, [Judas was afflicted in mind and troubled for his former folly; and] with remorse [with little more than a selfish dread of the consequences] he brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders,   Saying, I have sinned in betraying innocent blood. They replied, What is that to us? See to that yourself. And casting the pieces of silver [forward] into the [Holy Place of the sanctuary of the] temple, he departed; and he went off and hanged himself.

The memory Judas had of …but woe (judgment is coming) to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had never been born  brought fear of consequences…. not true remorse and repentance…. and it made him take his own life….which may… or may not have been in Gods plan for his life.

Memories…. God gave us the ability to remember….. and quoting a scene from Lion King…When Rafiki finds Simba in the Jungle and tries to get him to come home…. but Simba is not sure…
He says…. I know what I have to do. But going back means I’ll have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for so long.
and then Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick!
Simba says…… Ow! Jeez, what was that for?
 …. and Rafiki replies…..It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past.
Simba confirms that ……  Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki then gives the best line ever when he says……
Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it.

Memories indeed can be a great stroll through happy days… but it can also be a long …. dark … lonely road of fear and regret….
Its your choice…. God ….has given us a way to set things right in 1st John 1:9….NLT   But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

And then….take what was said by Rafiki….  and LEARN from it!!!

A….. Is For Adultery……. Lesson 4


Lesson 4 Brings us to the Letter A.
Again … there are many words that begin with A that might make us cry.  I have experienced several in my lifetime… such as:
Abuse….. Accusations…. Adultery…. Adversity……. Affliction….. Alienation…..Annoyances…. Affection…. Anointing …… Anything!!

Adultery….. is the word that kept coming back to me as I prayed over this lesson, even though I kept thinking…… these women don’t want to hear my story ….
and I don’t need to be bringing up old wounds.   But….  That is exactly the A word He wanted me to use, because He had a wider scope on Adultery He wanted to address.

Websters Defines Adultery as:
A Sexual encounter or relationship between a married person and someone other than their spouse.
Cheating…. infidelity….misconduct….two-timing…. unfaithfulness.

Many of us have felt the sting of Adultery.   The thing about Adultery is it not only affects those going through it personally…. but many on the outer edges of those involved  as well.   My life was turned upside down with not only the traditional form of Adultery committed by a spouse… but also a nontraditional form of having a friend who was two-faced and unfaithful in our friendship.

This friend …whom I spent many hours with…. went shopping with… ballgames of our boys with…. even church together…. ended up with an adulterous affair with my husband.   Its not the first in history I know…. many of you have had similar stories and the hurt cuts deep.  Adultery rips and tears hearts and lives apart…. even in a world that is now callous to faithfulness.

18 years ago is when my story began.    I was a fairly new Christian of about 5-6 years.  I was a new Momma for the second time…. and I was attending a Bible Study on Mondays where I was filled with the Holy Spirit.   I had just lost my Dad to Cancer when it started back up…. and needless to say…. really rocked my already shaken life.  Things began to escalate with the uncertainty of my circumstances.   I believed that God wanted to heal my marriage… and yet… I was bombarded with so many arrows flying at my head and my heart as well as my spirit!

My Heart…. was broken!   I tried to hold on to the hope for a year….but I just no longer could keep believing for the miracle of reconciliation.  I began to lose who I was and didn’t recognize who I had become.  To the outside world… it looked as though I was the same happy woman I had always been… but to those close to me… knew I was becoming battle worn.
I finally made the decision to file for divorce.   One thing my Pastor had told me when I finally talked to him about it…. was that the filing of divorce is not when divorce happens….. it happened the first time he stepped out on me.   Not that that made it any easier to file…. but it seemed to be what I needed to push on through.

Many nights… in my little chair…. in my house…. behind closed doors…. I cried.  I felt like such a failure!  I felt as though I had failed as a wife…. why would he have an affair after he told me on our wedding day he could “forsake all others”?    Was there something I could have done differently?    Was I not pretty enough?  Smart enough?  Why?

I felt like I was a failure at being a mom!   I had already been divorced once before and I wanted to just do it “right” this time.  You know… the happy American family…. with a Mom and a Dad… and 2 kids… going to family things together.   I wanted my youngest to be able to have his parents sitting together at ballgames and school functions together…. and now… just like with my oldest son…. we would all show up in different cars…. set in different sections of the gym…. and one of us would go home….. alone.

….. and of course… I felt like I had failed my God!   Did I not pray long enough….. believe hard enough…. have enough Faith?    Did I give up too soon?   Oh…. how God must have been so disappointed in me!
I remember one evening in particular …. feeling ALL of the weight of what was happening…. feeling ALL of the emotions of being Abandoned… and of course those thoughts of being a failure in every area of my life.   I sat in my recliner…. VERY emotional…. TEARS and sobs filled my night of loneliness.  The TV was on…. and an episode of  Touched By An Angel was playing.   I prayed…. God… I am so sorry… I know I have failed you and you are very disappointed in me…. and then…. Andrew…. the “death Angel”…. began to minister to a lady who was dying.   The camera panned up to his face…. and it was as though he was in my room… looking directly at me when he said….
God wanted me to tell you…. that He is not disappointed in you….He is pleased with you…. and He loves you very much!

Ok… NOW the Tears are multiplied…. but this time… they are more of a Thankful kind of a Tear.   I had hope again… and I knew that God had spoke a Word directly to me… through a secular TV show!   Isn’t He AWESOME!!!  God ALWAYS shows up …. right when I needed Him most to remind me of His promise that He would never leave me or forsake me….  No matter how it felt…. His promise was and IS true!
Hebrews 13:5 AMP…… for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!


Then….I began to do some digging in my Bible about Adultery …..when I cam across Hosea.

In the 2nd verse of the 1st chapter Hosea God told Hosea….. “Go and marry a prostitute, so that some of her children will be conceived in prostitution.   This will illustrate how Israel has acted like a prostitute by turning against the Lord and worshiping other gods.”
So he married a woman named Gomer.
I searched the meaning of Gomer and found a definition in Biblegateway that said it meant “completion,” that is, the filling up of the measure of idolatry, or ripeness of consummate wickedness. Her name was indicative of the wholesale adultery and idolatry of the kingdom she represented.
In Chapter 5….  the Scripture says she either must have returned… or maybe never truly left her “old ways”.

Chapter 2:5-8  
She said, ‘I’ll run after other lovers and sell myself to them for food and water, for clothing of wool and linen,  and for olive oil and drinks.’
“For this reason I will fence her in with thornbushes.  I will block her path with a wall to make her lose her way
When she runs after her lovers, she won’t be able to catch them. She will search for them but not find them. Then she will think,
‘I might as well return to my husband, for I was better off with him than I am now.’ She doesn’t realize it was I who gave her everything she has—
the grain, the new wine, the olive oil; I even gave her silver and gold.
   But she gave all my gifts to Baal.

This passage of Scripture gets me everytime I read it.   I read it in my Spiritual walk with God this way.
God…. I don’t trust you to take care of my every need.  I need to go out and find other resources to gain bigger homes… newer cars…. fuller closets… finer foods…deeper wallets…!   I will let you take care of the day to day things… the little necessities…or call on you when something Big comes up… but in the meantime…I am going to run after these things the world has to offer… but… you know  I’ll be home on Sunday so we can see each other then!

Haven’t we all been guilty of this… at least to some degree?   I know I have.  And… like Gomer… God has fenced me in when I get that way… blocking my path to those things …. simply to get my attention.   Things begin to seem like they are getting harder… the bills pile up… things breakdown.. and I just cant seem to get my hands on anything fun anymore…. and… Just like Gomer…I have been quilty of saying… “I might as well turn to God… and Pray … and trust Him…because I was better off with Him than I am now.”
Put like that… it really breaks my heart that I would have ever done that to my God.  The ONE person who loves me unconditionally….and cares about every part of my life and who was and is the source of everything good I have or have ever had in my life… and I…. gave credit to everyone and everything else instead of Him!

But… look at verse 14…   “But then I will win her back once again.  I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there.
God… waits until we are in our “desert” …those dry places where we have nothing else to distract us… and THEN… He speaks tenderly to us.   He doesn’t yell… He doesn’t scold!
He reassures…. He teaches… He corrects…. He LOVES!
When we mess up…. when we find ourselves some place we aren’t supposed to be…. God  … through the Blood of Jesus has given us another promise…
1st John 1:9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose.

Hosea 3:1-2
Then the Lord said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the Lord still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them. 
So I bought her back for fifteen pieces of silver and five bushels of barley and a measure of wine…..

Hosea… was told to go buy his wife back…. even though… she had committed Adultery with another lover.  The exact thing that God did for us…. through Jesus ….Romans 5:8 But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.    Even though…. we were adulterers with the world… God loved us … and bought us back!
The price Hosea paid to get Gomer back…. was the price of a “slave”.   Jesus…..was sold out… for the price of “a slave”!  

It can bring us to TEARS……It can break many hearts…. and it also breaks God’s heart!

To wrap up….I found this one last passage I wanted to share with you….to give you something to think about ….and which should ….. be an eye opener for all of us!

Hosea 4:1-3 NLT
    …..The Lord has brought charges against you, saying:
“There is no faithfulness, no kindness,
    no knowledge of God in your land.
You make vows and break them;
    you kill and steal and commit adultery.
There is violence everywhere—
    one murder after another.
That is why your land is in mourning,
    and everyone is wasting away.
Even the wild animals, the birds of the sky,
    and the fish of the sea are disappearing


James 4: 4 NLT    You adulterers!  Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.